Well, my birthday has come and gone. I am 50 and it seems like things are still as they were, nothing feels or looks different. I had a wonderful party with loads of friends, good food, and lots of laughter. I think it was probably the best way to spend my birthday. Sometimes when I think about my age it still freaks me out at bit, I think “how did I get here – wasn’t it just yesterday I was living in France and going to school?”
Life moves so quickly, I need to remember that and live each day like it is THE most important day. I must remember that I have a sweat life; a partner whom I love dearly and who loves me more than anyone has my whole life. I have the dog of my dreams, I have wanted this dog for at least 20 years. I have a wonderful home and have the best job in the world, AND – I get to create art everyday in studio in the back of my home.
Through out my life, people have come and gone – family has come and gone but through all of this I have loved everyone. I know that one day everyone will know how much I have loved them. I have lived my life with respect for others and tried to be the best person I can. I have tried not to judge others and tried earnestly to live and let live. I know that even through my life’s choices some of my friends and family have judged me and have said and done things that have been hurtful. What they don’t understand is that the choices I have made through out my life made me the woman I am today. We all have made choices in our lives that others may not understand – but that’s the funny thing about our lives – they are all different. My choices and decisions that I have made throughout my life have brought me to this most awesome place – and at the age of 50 I can say it with all my heart – MY LIFE IS GREAT!
I am grateful for all the things I have done, the places I have gone, the adventures I have been on (good & bad) all the people who are and were in my life – all of this has shaped who I am today – I KICK ASS 50-year-old woman, artist, dog mom and wife.
Pictures below: 1. Me and my partner 2. The view from my studio 3. My dog – Chimay 4. My last art show in San Francisco
Well….here’s the thing. I am turning 50 and I am not sure how to feel about things. On one hand I am totally freaking out and on the other I think I am still pretty hot and don’t look at all 50 years old.
Most days I feel ok but last night I received an AARP application in the mail and totally lost it. I was bawling like a baby —– see I can’t be 50 if I am crying like a baby, right?
I have been trying to think about what I wanted to do to celebrate the fact that I am turning the big 5-0 and couldn’t come up with anything. I somehow suspect that if I didn’t come up with anything it would all go away. Well, it’s January and only 13 more days until “B-day” and I think I might be coming to terms with it. I say “might” because I still feel a hissy fit coming on, but I have finally found something to do for my birthday that I am excited about.
I spent an hour or so with an old boss/friend of mine yesterday and we were catching up. I had brought my dog to meet him and we were just chatting about this and that. I told him I was turning 50 and freaking out a bit. He said that I should just have a big party and I asked him if I could host it at his house (it’s beautiful) and he said, “of course”. It was settled, I was going to have a big birthday bash as this amazing house in San Francisco and I am now getting excited. I started planning what I was going to serve and things I was going to do and I started feeling happy about my birthday.
I love having parties, spending time fixing up the house, preparing food for everyone, making sure there is something for everyone and buying all the alcohol and non-alcohol so everyone has what they love. I just love putting on a good party! I love talking to people and spending time with my friends.
I came home after spending the time with my friend and put together and evite and sent it out. I am already getting people rsvp-ing and it seems like everyone will be able to make it. I am still freaking out a bit about this birthday but I think I will be ok. I think I will make it through and once I get to the other side of 50 I’ll be just fine.
This is a picture from my encaustic painting show from 2 weeks ago.